DionRabouin.com (sort of)

Musings on an assigned paper

I sat down to write this piece and I couldn’t think of anything to write. I knew beforehand that I couldn’t fill a page with the reasons I write, because I only write for one reason: I’m operational (and I don’t hate it). But I figured I’d have a story or an idea or some uncommon flash of brilliance that just streaked before my eyes when I sat down to write and it never came.

I tried to write about a beer I like, but I got two paragraphs in and realized how stupid it was so I stopped. There’s a whole world out there to write about and I’ve got nothing. I can’t chalk this up to writer’s block, it’s more like writer’s impasse. I’m stuck at this junction looking for something and it’s not there. I could keep looking for it, but I’m on a self-induced tight schedule and there’s certainly no time self-indulgence to that extent at the moment. So here I sit, broken hearted…thinking of dirty jokes I’ve read on men’s room turnstiles.

For some reason the thought of ponies burst through my head. They’re absolutely ridiculous. They’re really just ugly little horses, but every little girl wants one. There’s this Verizon wireless commercial out about this girl who actually gets a pony and how disappointed she is because her friends got cool Verizon phones instead. She’s confronted with the reality of actually owning an ugly little horse and it’s not pretty. What little girls love is the idea – the fantasy – of owning a pony. I’m not really sure what that has to do with my current situation or why, and how I have nothing to write, but I suppose perhaps it diverted your attention from this essay’s severe lack of substance.

Here’s another interesting thought to distract from my vacuously xxx paper, what’s with the apostrophe? I’ve been learning grammar rules for long enough that I know, literally, what it’s good for (contractions, applying ownership, etc.) but is it really necessary. I could probably have written an entire paper on the superfluousness of certain forms of punctuation. I mean honestly, if I write out “Its going to be a wonderful day” instead of “It’s going to be a wonderful day” are you really wholly unable to comprehend that I mean “It is going to be a wonderful day?” The comma, the period, the exclamation point, the quotation mark, I can see how without these punctuation marks we’d be lost as readers, but the apostrophe just seems like a way for grammar nerds with red pens to get off on pointing out the mistakes of others.

Now that I’ve finished with that tangent, I suppose I can get back to the important business of having nothing in this paper –that is, nothing in my head – to write about, or at least to fill a personal essay that can be justifiably juxtaposed (alliteration unintentional) with the essay “Why I write.” In contrast to what the above two paragraphs might suggest, I’m not really so fascinated with the world that I ought to always have something to write about. Honestly, I’m just kind of a crazy person, and left alone for long enough with my own thoughts I suppose I can compose them remarkably, or at lest operationally, well.

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