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My interview with Chris Rock

My interview with Chris Rock
Friday, March 9, 2007 at 1:20pm
I arrived at Boulevard 3 in Hollywood with high hopes and a good feeling about the night. After three calls to my contact at the event, Deva Keyhoe — who will forever live in infamy for her complete lack of grace and refusal to answer my phone calls — I decided the best thing to do would be to find the people I needed to speak to myself. I strolled out onto the patio area of the club and saw none other than the man I’d come to see, Chris Rock.

I walked over and introduced myself to his publicist, who asked me if I could just wait one second. Of course I obliged, this was after all Chris Rock. Prior to the interview I should share that he is far and away my favorite comedian and I’ve wanted to meet and interview this guy since I was 14 years old. I consider this man a legend. He’s the writer and star of one of the funniest movies ever, CB4, and I’ve never laughed harder than when I watched his comedy special “Bigger and Blacker” on HBO. I even named my column in high school after the special in something of an homage.

Chris was busy talking to some other people, none of them reporters, so I decided I’d wait until he was done. I had a nice chat with his assistant and his publicist while I waited. We talked about the movie, “I think I love my wife” which is actually really funny and really good. It’s a more mature role than anything he’s done before and both his assistant — who is of course obligated to like it — and I really enjoyed the movie and Chris’ apparent newly found acting chops.

After what couldn’t have been more than a minute his publicist tapped him and let him know that a writer from The Hollywood Reporter was here to talk to him. His wife, who’s fucking gorgeous by the way, exchanged pleasantries with me and I finally got to shake hands with Chris Rock, my comedic idol. I told him how excited I was to meet him and even told him that CB4 was one of my all-time favorite movies, to which he responded with a less than energetic, “Wow.” What took place next was easily and without question the worst interview I’ve ever done with anyone, ever, for anything. As you read it, try to imagine his look of complete and utter disdain and try to imagine a sense of total apathy for me, my publication and the time of his that I’d wasted. Here, completely unedited, unchanged and with no surreptitious formatting, is my interview with Chris Rock

Me: First question, you obviously wore a lot of hats in this movie — producer, director, writer, actor — and you’ve done that in a few films what do you like about that? Are you just a creative control type of person?

Chris Rock: Not really, I just don’t…If someone gave me a great script I would love to just show up and act, but that hasn’t happened — in a while anyway. So if you want something a certain way you have to do it yourself. (Silence)

Me: Alright. So it’s been like 3 or 4 years since the last movie that you
wrote and acted in, what do you wait for in between those films?

CR: In between I just, you know I tour, you know so… I did “Everybody Hates Chris” so you know I keep myself busy.

Me: Oddly enough the kid that plays young you lives in my building.

CR: Oh, uh huh

Me: Yeah, so that’s kind of a weird connection (silence) but, um, I mean is it something that jumps out at you that you’re like, ‘Aight, now is the time to make a new film?’

CR: Yeah, you know it’s just sometimes…right now I feel like going on tour. That’s how I feel, so…

Me: So it’s like, you just kind of feel like making a movie?

CR: Writing a movie, you’ve got no control over making it. But I feel like writing one. If your writing is good enough, someone will make it.

Me: Aight. You worked with Louis CK on writing this film, have you worked with him before?

CR: Yeah, we did “Pooty Tang” and we did “Down to Earth” together.

Me: OK, and what first got you two writing together?

CR: You know, we’re just friends from the old comedy club days so you know… (silence)

Me: So he’s just kind of your partner in crime?

CR: One of many partners, yeah

Me: Cool. I remember a couple of jokes you made in “Bigger and Blacker” about a man only being as faithful as his options, was that kind of some of the stuff that inspired this movie?

CR: Eh…I don’t know.. I just liked the original so much, I thought it was just tight and I thought I could play this character pretty well.

Me: So it’s just kind of like (I realized I’d said this phrase about four times so I decided to go in a different direction). How…When did you first see the original?

CR: About three, four years ago.

Me: So you just thought it would be a good thing to remake?

CR: Yeah. (At this point someone came up and congratulated him on the film and he gave them a look similar to the one he gave me. I realized I wasn’t really gonna get anything from him)

Me: Well, yeah. I guess that’s all I have. Is there anything else you’d like to say about the movie?

CR: Hey, just come out and see it. I hope people think it’s funny.

That’s it. Seriously. It was like he completely lacked a personality of any sort. Hey Chris Rock, great interview. Way to make the readers of The Hollywood Reporter want to come and see your movie. I hope it tanks. Jackass.


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