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Poor crazy Britney Spears

Poor crazy Britney Spears
Tuesday, February 20, 2007 at 11:30am
Does anybody else feel really awful for Britney Spears? Maybe it’s just me, but the poor girl has obviously lost her mind and it seems like all anyone can do is make fun of her. I’m definitely not a fan, in fact, when she first debuted I really hated her. But there’s definitely something wrong with her. She was supposed to check into rehab in the Bahamas, but she only stayed one day, and then she comes back to LA and shaves off her hair in a salon. The owner of the salon wouldn’t even let any of her stylists do it so Britney went into the back and just grabbed a razor and cut it all off herself. The worst part of it all is that there were something like 60 people gathered outside just loving the whole spectacle.

This girl is 25 and she’s already lost her damn mind and I feel like we all drove her to it. What is going to happen to Britney? I mean, it’s pretty obvious she’ll never have another hit album. In fact I’m pretty sure she’ll never record another album because she’s too busy doing whatever it is she’s doing. She’s got two kids from the biggest deadbeat ever, she’s a two-time divorcee, she can’t go anywhere without being followed by a bunch of large, creepy men, and did I mention she’s only 25. She’s seen her vagina show up all over the internet, and while she’s definitely at fault for that one, I know a couple girls who, if followed around by crazy photographers all the time, would have their yin yang make Monday morning cooler fodder as well.

Everything the girl does is front page news, everything. And it’s not just skeezy tabloids that are all over her, actual news outlets are running this Britney Spears side-show as their lead story. I’m talking CNN, MSNBC, ABC and others who are ignoring the American troops dying in Iraq, the kidnapping of three Americans by Palestinians and a host of other actual news stories because Britney Spears went crazy and shaved her head.

People always say, “If she didn’t want this, she shouldn’t have become a celebrity,” but why? Why can’t someone want to make a lot of money in the public eye and not want to be stalked everywhere she goes and not have everything they do put out there to millions of people? Honestly, she hasn’t done ANYTHING in the past two years and that something she did was put out a b-sides remix album that tanked. Her last CD was released in 2004 and that was a “Greatest Hits” album. Her last actual disc of new music came out in 2003, yet people just won’t leave her alone.

Maybe we should take crazy Britney’s shaved head as a sign that we’ve finally just pushed someone over the edge. That our public need for the intimate details of the lives of celebrities has reached a tipping point and maybe it’s time to back off. Unfortunately, it looks like Brit’s sanity is the casualty in this celebrity infatuation America is going through. Why do people care so much about the lives of the rich and famous anyway? What is it about Britney Spears or Paris Hilton or anyone else that makes us care about where they’re going or what they’re buying or what they’re doing at all times of the day? There are seriously pictures of these people at the fucking grocery store and no one seems to see a problem. The absolute most disgraceful part of all this is that there are actual things going on in the world that serious news outlets are ignoring in favor of Britney Spears going crazy. I really wish I could be in a newsroom when the director stands up and says, “We’re gonna have to drop the story on the tanker full of chlorine that exploded in Iraq killing hundreds of innocent civilians because we found out Britney Spears actually got a tattoo on her ass that we didn’t know about.”

Sweet Jesus, I’d go crazy and shave my head too.

P.s. The salon Britney cut her hair off in is auctioning off her hair, the empty can of Red Bull she drank, her cigarette lighter and the razor she used to shave her head for the starting price of $1 million. This just keeps getting more and more pathetic.


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