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Is there anything more American than Peyton Manning?

Is there anything more American than Peyton Manning?
Monday, February 5, 2007 at 4:47pm
Super Bowl MVP Peyton Manning; it has ring to it doesn’t it (no pun intended)? Peyton Manning deserves to be the Super Bowl MVP, he’s worked hard, he’s studied the game, he’s really elevated his performance to a whole other level. I have the utmost respect for the guy and couldn’t be happier for him. But I hate him like I hate mosquitos. I hate Peyton Manning the way I hate the wind in ithaca, the way I hate fat, white women who try to hit on me at danceparties, the way I hate dick-teases.

I hate Manning because he’s absolutely nothing that people think he is. Everyone gets this impression that Peyton is this humble, blue-collar guy who just works so hard. The truth is he’s a rich kid who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and given every possible advantage to succeed. He represents everything that’s wrong with this country. He’s an embodiment of the rich getting richer, the haves having more and the have nots getting nothing. People like Rex Grossman came from nothing and worked themselves to the point that they’re at, while Peyton always had his trust fund to fall back on. They never talk about the rags-to-riches NFL stories anymore because the players are brash or self-serving, so they focus on guys like Peyton Manning, the son of a millionaire pro quarterback who not only passed down good jeans to his son, but sent him to the most expensive football camps, gave him the best coaching and teaching money could buy and then sent him to the University of Tennessee, where had his name not been Manning he would have been expelled for sexually harassing an athletic trainer.

Peyton Manning is an NFL success story because he was supposed to be. From the very beginning. He’s been groomed for this. Everyone always talks about what a pretty boy Tom Brady is, but Peyton is just as “pretty” (and by that I mean an ostentatious prick with his nose in the air who thinks he’s better than everyone else). He just puts on the “aw shucks” act for the idiots in the media and at home, and people just eat it up. If you look through his career no one’s ever asked him tough questions, no one has ever taken him to task over anything, ever. He basically blamed his offensive line for losing the Pittsburgh game last year and not so much as a peep from anyone. It’s like the guy gets a free pass for everything. Rex Grossman says he was distracted and didn’t think he would play much in a New Years game and people start calling him the “Paris Hilton” of quarterbacks.

I’d like to see one journalist out there, just one, throw this guy a hard question or two and just wait for prima donna Peyton to rear his ugly head. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking the guys skills, because when it’s all said and done, we’ll be talking about Peyton Manning as one of the best of all time, if not the best. All I’m asking is that the media loosen their oral vice grip from the guys testicles. I’m so sick of this Peyton is such a great guy crap, all through his college years I kept hearing about how great he was and what a star he was. Every time Tennessee played Florida all I heard about was how Peyton Manning couldn’t be stopped and every single game the Gators stopped him. UF – 4 UT – 0. Then after the game was over everyone was so shocked. Danny Weiurfel won a national championship and a Heisman, but all anyone could talk about was Peyton, Peyton, Peyton — and I’m not even talking pro talent, because from jump, even I knew Dan wasn’t gonna make much of a pro.

The bottom line: I give the man credit for what he did. But I truly hope he dies a slow, painful death tomorrow, save for the fact that I’d have to hear all about it all of next year’s football season. Peyton Manning is a punk.


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